FRIENDS The Next Generation
by Flame-Proof-05
Summary: This Is My Own Series Of Friends. Episode 2 Added! 'The One With The Band' Summary In Episode Guide. Please R
1. Episode Guide

F.R.I.E.N.D.S The Next Generation

[I DECIDED TO CREATE MY OWN SERIES OF FRIENDS, MAINLY FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT AND I THOUGHT I'D SHARE IT WITH PEOPLE. I HAVEN'T GONE TO THE VERY BEGINNING THOUGH, MONICA AND CHANDLER ARE MARRIED, RACHEL LIVES WITH ROSS HOWEVER SHE IS NOT PREGNANT AND NEVER HAS BEEN AND THEY ARE NOT ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED.]

[Any characters that have ever appeared on the show are not owned by me but by Marta Kauffman and David Crane (God Bless You Good People!) these fics are not intended for profit but for entertainment only]

Episode Guide:

SEASON 1

Episode 1: THE ONE WITH AUNT PEGGY:

Chandler (Matthew Perry) becomes addicted to soap operas after Rachel (Jennifer Anniston) convinces him to watch 'Days Of Our Lives.'Monica (Courtney Cox Arquette) and Ross (David Schwimmer) are forced to go to dinner with their crazy aunt (Guest Star: Judy Dench, 'Shakespere In Love' ) Meanwhile Joey (Matt Le Blanc) has a disastrous experience with a date and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) worries about what her strange dream could mean.

Episode 2: THE ONE WITH THE BAND

Monica (Courtney Cox Arquette) tries to put the spice back into her marriage to Chandler (Matthew Perry). Rachel (Jennifer Anniston) swears off men after a bad date but forgets her new oath after she meets Ross' (David Schimmer) handsome colleague. Meanwhile Joey (Matt Le Blanc) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) decide to form a band.


	2. Episode 1: The One With Aunt Peggy

[DISCLAIMER: The only characters in this story that belong to me are ones that have never featured in F.R.I.E.N.D.S (All other ones belong to Marta Kauffman and David Crane.) This story was not created for profit but for entertainment only.]

The One With Aunt Peggy

[ Scene: Monica and Chandler's everyone is present except Phoebe, Ross is on the phone]

Ross: '7.30pm? ok Mom, will do. Bye [Hangs up phone] I don't believe this! This is the worst thing that could have happened ever! 

Chandler: 'Aliens have landed and the world is under attack?'

Ross: 'No'

Rachel [Watching TV] : 'Bailey just shot Paige and now we'll never know who the father is!'

Monica: 'Excuse me?'

Rachel [Looks away from the TV]: 'Oh I'm sorry, I was just really into this episode of 'General Hospital' what were you saying about aliens Ross?

Ross [Glares at Rachel]: 'Actually, I just heard that Aunt Peggy is in town and we [Looks at Monica] have to have dinner with her tomorrow night'

Monica: 'Aunt Peggy! I love Aunt Peggy! shes so great. I'll never understand why you don't like her Ross'

Ross: 'Well It could be the fact that she's had a vendetta against me since I was born'

Monica: 'Oh come on Ross what would make you think Aunt Peggy has a vendetta against you?'

Ross: 'Lets see, every year on my birthday she gave me a nickel and told me to get a haircut, every Christmas she gave you $10 and told you to get something you wanted and she gave me a pair of uncle Joe's socks and then there was the...'

Monica: 'Ok, Ok I get your point, she favoured me over you a little bit...'

Ross: 'A little bit..!?'

Monica: '...However, that was years ago and we haven't even seen her in so long, I'm sure she's completely different now'

Ross [Looks to the others for support]: 'Can you guys believe this?'

Joey: 'I know, I mean she should at least have had the decency to buy you the socks'

[Opening Credits]

[Scene: Continued from earlier but only Rachel and Chandler are in the room]

Chandler: 'I'll never understand how you can watch this stuff Rach, I mean it's so far fetched'

Rachel: 'Oh come on, you'd love it if you gave it a chance'

Chandler: 'You know, I don't think I would'

Rachel: 'Just watch a little bit of this with me and if you don't like it I won't say anymore about it, it's 'Days Of Our Lives'

Chandler: 'But I don't wanna watch it, I mean just because my friend is in it doesn't mean I wanna watch 'Days Of Our Lives' cr...[Joey comes out of the bathroom] hey Joe'

Joey: 'What were you saying? I thought I heard something about 'Days Of Our Lives'

Rachel: 'Yeah he was just saying about how....'

Chandler: 'How glad I am that it's finally on, I've been waiting to watch this all day so why don't you be quiet already!'

Joey [Smiling]: 'Oh, OK. Well I'd love to stay and watch it with you but I've got a date with a hot girl so I gotta go'

Rachel And Chandler: 'Bye'

[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica is sitting in a chair waiting for him]

Monica: 'Come on Ross! we're gonna be late'

[Ross comes out of the bathroom dressed but with a white face (talc)]

Ross: 'I think I might be sick maybe you should go and I should stay home'

Monica: 'Ross, you march right back into that bathroom and wash that talcum powder off your face right now so we can go!'

Ross: 'But Mon, I don't...'

Monica: 'NOW!'

[Ross puts on 'hurt bunny look' and heads to the bathroom]

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Rachel and Chandler are in front of the TV, Chandler is engrossed]

TV: 'Oh Adam I love you too but there's something I have to tell you, I'm actually a man'

Chandler: 'Oh my god! this is the best show ever! I can't believe I've never watched this before!'

Rachel: 'See, I told you maybe you should listen to what...'

Chandler: 'Shhh!'

TV: 'Will Adam stay with Amanda after her shock confession? find out next time on 'Days Of Our Lives'

Chandler: 'NOOO! I can't wait all that time to find out what happens!'

[Phoebe runs out of one of the bedrooms looking panic stricken]

Phoebe: 'What happened did someone die? Why were you screaming Rachel?'

Rachel: 'Actually Chandler was the one who was screaming'

Chandler: 'I did not scream, Chandler Bing does NOT scream OK, I gave a masculine yell'

Phoebe [To Chandler]: 'I heard you screaming?'

Chandler: 'I was NOT scr...'

Rachel: 'Yes, Mr. Masculinity here is upset that he has to wait a whole week to find out what happens on 'Days Of Our Lives'

[Scene: A restaurant, Joey is sitting with his date Jennifer, he looks on the verge of falling asleep]

Jennifer: '...and another thing I really like to do is go on archaelogical digs and collect fossils of...'

Joey [Nods and smiles and is thinking to himself]: 'She's so hot! How can someone that hot be so boring?'

Jennifer: '...then of course there's my stamps ,you know I've actually got this really great story about this time I was putting stamps into my album and...'

Joey: 'I hate to interrupt you but we really should order now'

Jennifer: 'Oh that's OK, I'm not hungry so anyway as I was saying I got these new stamps, right? and I was...'

[Joey sits back, resigned to listening to stories about stamps]

[Scene: Another restaurant, Monica and Ross are at a table waiting for aunt Peggy, Ross is ranting about her being late]

Ross: '...I mean she could at least have the decency to show up on time, she did ruin my childhood after all'

Monica: 'Oh come on, Ross don't you think you're over-reacting just a little bit? I mean Mom always favoured you and my childhood wasn't ruined'

Ross: 'Oh, so now you're on her side?'

[Aunt Peggy comes in]

Monica: 'Hi Aunt Peggy! It's great to see you!'

Aunt Peggy: 'Monica! How's my favourite niece? I've missed you so much!'

Ross: 'Hi Aunt Peggy'

Aunt Peggy [Unenthusiastically]: 'Hello Ross'

Monica: 'Ok lets order!'

Aunt Peggy: 'Good idea, WAITER!'

[Waiter Comes Over]

Waiter: 'Are you ready ro order?'

Aunt Peggy: 'Yes, I would like the 'Filet Mignon'

Monica: 'I'll have the Chicken'

Waiter [To Ross]: 'And for you, Sir'

Ross: 'I'll take Salmon En Croute and could you bring me some water if it's not too much trouble'

Waiter: 'Certainly Sir' 

Ross: 'Thankyou'

[Waiter goes away]

Aunt Peggy: 'Why are you such a kiss up Ross?'

Ross: 'What?'

Aunt Peggy [Trying to imitate Ross]: 'Bring me a glass of water if it's not too much trouble'

Ross: 'Well excuse me for having manners'

Monica [Trying to neutralise the situation]: 'So, Aunt Peggy what have you been doing since we saw you last'

Ross [Under his breath]: 'Apart from sacrificing kids'

Aunt Peggy: 'Did you say something Ross'

Ross [Brightly]: 'No'

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Monica And Chandlers Phoebe Is Telling Rachel Her Dream, Chandler Is Watching The TV]

Rachel: 'So let me get this straight, Michael Jackson told you something awful is going to happen to one of us?'

Phoebe: 'Well, you know he is my guardian angel so he's obliged to tell me things like that'

Chandler: 'Can he tell me if Jack really is just using Hannah? Because that's the last thing she needs right now'

Phoebe: 'That's just fine Chandler, you make as many jokes as you like but one of you is in real danger and you find it so funny when something bad happens'

Chandler: 'Maybe Michael made it up, he does have a reputation for being Bad'

Rachel: 'Chandler! Phoebe's worried and it's our job as her friends to make her feel better about this. Phoebe, honey this was just a dream, nothing awful is going to happen'

[Joey enters]

Joey: 'Something awful just happened!'

Phoebe: 'See!'

Rachel: 'Joey, what happened?'

Joey: 'Well I was out on a date with this girl and she was so boring I couldn't even imagine myself kissing her!

Chandler: 'Who are you and what have you done with Joey!?'

Joey: 'I'm serious you guys, what am I supposed to do?'

Rachel: 'Honey all you have to do is tell her you think you'd be better off as friends and then leave it at that'

Joey: 'And you think that'll work?'

Rachel: 'Sure it will'

Joey: 'Ok, thanks Rach, now I gotta go and watch some TV and remember what entertainment feels like'

Chandler: 'Why don't you stay and watch this?'

Joey: 'What is it?'

Chandler: 'General Hospital'

Joey: 'Bye!'

[Scene: Restaurant, Aunt Peggy is drunk and is putting Ross down in front of the whole restaurant]

Aunt Peggy: '...and he used to run about my front garden in his underwear and sing 'Hey Diddle Diddle...' to the neighbours'

Ross: 'You made me do that!'

Monica [Stifling a laugh]: 'Oh my god'

Ross: 'What about Monica? She used to rip the wallpaper off and eat it!'

Monica: 'Hey!'

Ross: 'You laugh at me, you pay the price'

Aunt Peggy: 'And you know something Ross? I never really liked you'

Ross: 'Yeah, I got that'

Monica: 'Aunt Peggy, What have you got against Ross? What did he ever do to make you hate him so much?'

Aunt Peggy: 'I though you were on my side Monica? Why would you turn against me like that?'

Monica: 'I'm not on anyone's side I was just...'

Aunt Peggy: 'Well if you're going to play that game then I can play too [To everyone else]: I once caught Monica practising kissing in my mirror'

[Monica gasps with horror as everyone laughs]

Ross: 'Come on Monica, lets go we don't have to put up with this'

Monica: 'Yes, lets'

Aunt Peggy: 'Don't you walk away from me [Goes to stand up] did you hear me? I said...'

[Tries to pull herself up, fails and she falls back onto the floor and lies there in a drunken sleep as everyone laughs]

[Monica and Ross are now outside the restaurant]

Ross: 'Did you really practise kissing in the mirror'

Monica: 'Oh shut up 'Hey Diddle Diddle!'

[End Credits]

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Jennifer are there, he is breaking up with her]

Joey: '.It's nothing you've done it just that I don't think we have enough in common and that's why I think we should stop seeing each other'

Jennifer: 'But I really enjoyed our date and I thought you did too?

Joey: 'I'm really sorry, but I think I know someone you would have more in common with.....'

[Scene: Restaurant Ross and Jennifer are on a date]

Ross: '..And I'm a professor at NYU, I teach Palaeontology there, I actually have this really great dinosaur story...'

Jennifer [Thinking to herself]: 'He's so boring!'

THE END


	3. Episode 2: The One With The Band

The One With The Band 

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is alone on the sofa drinking coffee when Ross comes in]

Ross: Hey Rach! how come you're all alone? 

Rachel: Hi, I'm actually just waiting for Michael.

[Gunther (behind counter) looks up, interested in this conversation]

Ross: Michael?

Rachel: Yeah, I met him today at the Laundromat

Ross: Oh, Ok...wait a second what were you doing at a Laundromat?

Rachel [unconvincingly]: Uhh...Laundry?

[Ross gives her a 'yeah right' look]

Rachel: Ok, Ok .. I was trying to meet cute, single guys it's not a crime. Anyway go away 'cos here he comes

[Ross exits. Michael enters. Gunther watches Rachel and Michael]

Rachel: Hi Michael! 

Michael: Hey, I'm really looking forward to our date, would you mind if i grabbed a coffee before we go?

Rachel: No, not at all

[ Michael approches the counter]

Michael: Hey, can I get a cup of coffee?

Gunther: I'm sorry we don't sell coffee here

[Opening Credits]

[Scene: Outside Central Perk Rachel and Michael are walking down the street]

Rachel: I have to apologise again about Gunther, I can't believe he wouldn't serve you

Michael: That's OK, and anyway I got the coffee in the end, right?

Rachel: Right, but he could've given it to you in a cup 

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching TV when Monica comes out of the bedroom]

Monica (Seductively): Chandler..

Chandler (Non-interestedly): Uh huh?

Monica: Do you wanna come to bed?

Chandler: No thanks I'm not tired

Monica: I'm not talking about sleep

Chandler: Ok then, I'm too tired

Monica: CHANDLER!

Chandler: What?

Monica: Turn off that TV and get in here and have sex with me right now!

Chandler: You know, I never really liked being dominated

[Monica glares at him]

Chandler: Ok Ok, give me ten minutes, I've gotta see the end of this

[Monica dejectedly goes back to the bedroom]

[Scene: Joey's apartment, Phoebe and Joey are present and are sitting around looking bored]

Joey: Pheebs, I'm bored

Phoebe: Me too, oh hey! do you want me to get my guitar and sing to you again

Joey: No thanks, I kinda feel embarrased when you sing to me

Phoebe: Aww is it because you're so shy?

Joey: No, actually it's because you sing about my chubby cheeks and squishy butt

Phoebe: Alright, so what else can we do? Wait! I know! Let's start a band! Yeah I'll play guitar and you sing

Joey: As long as there aren't any squishy butt songs

Phoebe: What about chubby cheeks?

Joey: Nope

Phoebe: Deal! Ok so lets decide on a name

Joey: Ok, how about...'Joey And Tit Clan?' [Motions to her breasts]

Phoebe: Hey Yeah! You know what, while we're at it lets call it 'Pheebs And The Chubby Twins' [Motions to his cheeks]

Joey: Ok, I get your point but, we still don't have a name

Phoebe: What about 'The Twirly Treelovers?'

[Cut to Ross's Apartment, He's Reading A 'Mills And Boon' Book When Rachel Enters]

[Ross Hears The Door Open And Quickly Throws The Book Across The Room]

Ross [Breathlessly]: Hi Rachel! I was just err.. watching TV 

[He Looks At The TV Which Is Off]

Rachel: Ross, I know you read Mills & Boon

Ross [About To Protest]: But I...

Rachel: Oh come on, I've looked under your bed

[Ross Is Slightly Shocked]

Rachel: Anyway, I'm too depressed to care

Ross: Bad date?

Rachel: That's one way of putting it

Ross: So what happened?

Rachel [Sitting Down]: It all started when we got to the restaurant

[Scene: Restaurant, Rachel And Michael Are Sitting At A Table When A Waiter Comes Up]

Rachel: So, um Michael what do you do for a living?

Michael [Looking At Her Breasts]: What? [Realising and looking up quickly] Oh! sorry, actually I'm between jobs at the moment

Rachel: Wow that must be kinda frustrating huh?

Michael [Looking at her breasts again]: Not really, it gives me time to focus on other things

Rachel [A Little Uncomfortably]: Uh, Ok

Michael: I'm sorry but I gotta tie my shoe

Rachel: Ok sure

[Michael Bends Down Looking Like He's Tieing His Shoe But He's Really Looking Up Her Dress]

Rachel [After A Few Minutes]: Everything Ok down there?

Michael: Looks great to me!

[Rachel Looks Under The Table And Sees What He's Doing] 

Rachel: Oh my god! Get up from there you pervert!

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: Ross And Rachel's Apartment Continued From Earlier]

Rachel: So that's what happened

Ross: That's it?

Rachel: What do you mean ''thats it?''

Ross: Rach, you deliberately wear short skirts so guys can see as much as possible, he was just..going a step further

Rachel: I know but, he could have at least asked!

Ross: Rachel..

Rachel: You know what, that's it I'm through dating guys I meet at the laundromat, actually strike that, I'm through dating altogether

Ross: And a thousand guys heave a sigh of disappointment

[Rachel Glares At Him]

[Scene: Monica And Chandler's Apartment, Chandler Is Still Watching TV When Monica Comes Out]

Monica: Chandler why aren't you in here yet?

Chandler: Maybe because I'm out here?

Monica: Chandler!

Chandler [Switching off TV and standing up]: Ok, fine, I'll go have sex, but I won't enjoy it

Monica: Fine! Um...will you carry me into the bedroom like you used to?

Chandler: Actually you know what, I kinda have a sore back 

Monica: Ok, you know what, if you don't wanna do this then I'll just go have sex with.....Joey!

Chandler [Sarcastically]: Wow, that's good foreplay!

Monica: Why won't you carry me? 

Chandler: I told you why

Monica: But I'm light as a feather, I'll show you

[Monica climbs up onto a table which breaks beneath her]

Monica [Looking up at chandler from among the rubble]: See!

[Joey's Apartment: Continued From Earlier]

Phoebe: Ok, so we can't decide on a name yet but lets start with a song

Joey: Ok

Phoebe: Ok, so I'll play some chords and you sing whatever comes into mind 

[Phoebe Begins To Play]

[Joey Doesn't Sing And After A While Phoebe Looks Up]

Phoebe: Joey you're supposed to be singing 

Joey: I know but, I can't

Phoebe: Just use your imagination

[Phoebe Plays More Chords, Joey Still Doesn't Sing]

Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea

[Joey gets up to leave and Phoebe grabs him by the ear and makes him sit down again]

Phoebe: You just sit there and you sing until we have a song!

Joey: Hmm, I wonder if this is how the big stars do it

[Scene: NYU Ross has just finished a class and has met Rachel outside the classroom]

Ross: Hi, so where do you wanna go for lunch?

Rachel: I dunno, you decide

Ross: Ok, well there's a great little Italian place on bleaker

Rachel: Italians fine

[They Start Walking Down The Hall Towards The Door When A Man Classroom]

Man: Excuse me, professor Gellar, could I talk to you for a moment [Sees Rachel] Oh, hi

Ross: Certainly Professor Fontaine 

Rachel: Aren't you going to introduce us Ross?

Ross: Oh, of course, Rachel this is Professor Fontaine, Professor Fontaine this is Rachel

Prof. Fontaine: A pleasure to meet you Rachel

Rachel: You too

Ross: So what was it you wanted to see me about?

Prof. Fontaine [Staring At Rachel]: Never mind

Ross: But..

Prof. Fontaine [Snappily]: Professor Gellar, Please!

[Ross Steps Back And Looks Put Out]

Prof. Fontaine: Rachel, I know this may seem a little sudden but do you maybe wanna go for a cup of coffee sometime?

Rachel: Sure, here's my number [Gives Him A Piece of Paper From Her Bag]

Prof. Fontaine: Ok, well I'll give you a call then

Rachel: Ok, Professor

Prof. Fontaine: You can call me John

Rachel: Ok...John

Prof. Fontaine: I'll see you soon

[He Walks Away]

Ross: What the hell was that?!

Rachel: What??

Ross: What happened to ''I'm through with dating?''

Rachel: Yeah, that didn't work out

[End Credits]

[Scene: Central Perk, Everyone's Present Watching Phoebe And Joey Perform]

Joey [Singing]: The plates are dirty and the floor is a mess, that's what's wrong with my kitchen

Phoebe & Joey [Singin]: Yes that is what's wrong...with our kitchen!

[Everyone Claps]

Phoebe: Thankyou everyone and if you enjoyed our song please remember that we are 'The Treeloving Chubby Tits!' 

[The End]


End file.
